So how do I sum up 2008?

I guess from an entertainment point of view it was pretty good. Saw some great noteworthy films: Rambo, The Dark Knight, The Mist, Wall E and Gone baby Gone (I know this actually came out in 2007 but due to it's similarities to the McCann case didn't get the exposure at the cinema as it should have). I'd wax on about these but those few regulars will have already enjoyed my critiques and I wouldn't want to deprive any newbie's, the pure joy of wading back through my journal for the relevant entries.

Manuel le Saux has continued to deliver in the trance/dance music scene, I discovered/embraced the group Journey after hearing their "After all these years" and I've rediscovered Klaus Wunderlich from my childhood.

On the X-box I encountered my first red ring of death and had to consign it to the dustbin. I didn't hugely mind. It was a pain but I could keep the hard drive and simply change the main unit. It had given me many hours of entertainment so I didn't begrudge the extra outlay.

On the gaming side GTA 4 was the game of the year. Mass Effect had ruled at the end of 2007 and did 'echo' through into the early part of the year when I lent it to my brother. It is still my all time favourite game on the 360 due to brilliance and involvement but GTA 4 had to take game of 2008. There's too many ways to run through it's brilliance on here so I'll just say it was great.

Gears of War 2 has also been wicked fun and provided a welcome jolt of pure gun toting fire and mayhem.

In other news my brother passed his driving test on the first attempt and of which I'm hugely proud of him. We also had a nice day when the three of us headed down to Southampton to do the powerboat day, which was enjoyed by my brother and step dad.

I appeared on my first 'commercially available' DVD by being in the special features documentary of Air Guitar Nation which had been filmed at the previous years UK Air Guitar championships. I entered this years event but was disappointed in how it all turned out. I'm not saying I should have won, for I believe Midnight Moses was excellent but the event, crowd, structure and atmosphere all seemed different and I felt a little foolish for the effort I'd expended. Off the back of this I did get some memorable pictures of the Fingerer from David and then off the back of that the music video gig, which of course was great fun though a little scary at some points.

Nothing on the female front really. There was a brief spark on New Years Eve (as in last year) and one possibly interested girl at Strawberry Moons but apart from that, and let's face it that's pretty poor, it's been painfully barren. Is that about opportunity, is it because I "haven't joined a club or taken up Salsa classes"? Whatever it is, it's pretty depressing.

I've still tried to go out and I'm trying not to let my cynicism cloud my brothers judgement too much. Unfortunately his own experiences with women this year have helped him to independently reach a similar attitude. I think I'm just getting weary of, and less willing to tolerate, the lack of honesty and integrity that so many people have nowadays.

And that I guess is my summation of 2008.

 

24th December 2008

Hi everyone. Apologies for my absence. Work has been quite busy, I've been sorting all the pressies, which were bought and wrapped by last week (which for me is amazing) and I've clearly been too lazy to write anything.

You see I like to reward your checking in with a decent amount of content so then shy away if I don't have a great deal to report. This is the real reason for my lack of input.

I completed Gears of War 2, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Like all games it took me a few scenes to get into it but once I had it was cool to be back in the world of active reloads and chainsaw-ing the locust hordes. The graphics were cool and the score by Steve Jablonsky (he of Transformers fame) was excellent.

Even better was the Horde which allowed my brother to either play on the same screen or hook up our consoles via system link to defeat ever increasing waves of locust. It was cracking fun when you unloading a full clip into something whilst your brother ducks round behind you to take out something attacking you from the flank. Ok, maybe that sounds geeky but what the hell, it's good fun.

I've now moved onto Fallout 3 which is the kind of apocalyptic game/story I've always wanted to play. It's sheer scale and size have been quite daunting and had made me reluctant to pick it up. That and my disappointment with Fable 2. Fallout is hugely atmospheric and I imagine that it will soak up many a late night with the headphones on over Christmas.

I caught the end of a programme with Joanna Lumley a weeks back where she fulfilled an ambition to see the Northern Lights. I only the last 15 mins but I was hugely impressed at her reaction to seeing them. I've also always had that dream and it was amazing to see her feeling the same way I think I would if I saw them. At one point when she was looking at them, I thought to myself 'if I was there, I think I'd have to lie down just to be able to drink in the night sky'. Sure enough, about a minute later she did that very thing. Bravo to you Joanna.

I couldn't believe that Chris Hoy won the BBC sports personality of the year. Sometimes I'm impressed with the public and other times not but they certainly surprised me on this. I thought Lewis Hamilton was a definite but it seems the British public saw the same things I did in Chris. Determined, focused but also humble and polite. A real ambassador for British Cycling and Britain in total. He was totally made up with the award and clearly hadn't expected it at all. A very deserving winner.

And that really is about it. Not much to show for nearly 4 weeks is it? I've not heard a great deal more about the thing in France and it might happen next year. I'm keen to give it a go but I don't want to go out there for nothing and be a complete fool of.

I'm out this evening with my brother at a 'masked ball' event at a local club. Bearing in mind the normal patrons efforts at other fancy dress events I won't surprised if we are one of like 10 in a mask but you've got to try haven't you. The masks look pretty cool and are contoured to the face for comfort. They are split into quadrants of silver and black so in addition to both of us wearing white jackets my brother is wearing a silver shirt and me a black one.

We are going to have a few drinks so I'm hoping it's a good laugh. Tomorrow we intend to have a big Christmas fried breakfast to soak up any alcohol before heading over to my Aunt's. The rest of the break will be one of lazy mornings, late nights, over eating/drinking, DVD's and games. I think that's one of the reasons why I like this time. A chance to be decadently self indulgent without feeling hugely guilty.

I hope dear faithful reader that you have a great Chrimbo and that 2009 is a good one for you.

Take care and thanks for stopping by.

 

25th November 2008

Well the weather is certainly making it's presence known along with the talk of recession and our governments interesting means of dealing with it. Only yesterday we were told of a VAT decrease that looks like it will make virtually no difference to our spending patterns but is costing £20 billion. Hardly a prudent usage of public money but the mantra seems to be 'fuck it, we'll borrow it now and pay it back later'.

I appreciate that when times are tough you need to borrow but isn't this cavalier attitude of 'well just put it on credit' the very knub of what lead the world to this point?

On lighter notes let's talk about me, for I'm far more interesting! Work has been busy which at this time of year is great and I've not done a massive amount really. On the geek front I've started playing Gears of War 2. It took me a level or two to get my eye back in, to the point where the grind lifts descend underground and then I was back in it. The graphics, sound and score are excellent and after the role play of Fable 2 it's good to get back to pouring rounds into the locust horde or better still chainsawing them to death!

As you can see it's not really a game to teach you better interpersonal skills but rather pure escapist fun. I've decided as well that the only real way to really immerse yourself in the game is with the headphones on and distraction kept to a minimum.

I've caught a few films on DVD in the meantime. Never Back Down was reasonably entertaining. It's kind of a modern take on the Karate Kid but had some good fighting and an actor in the lead role that must model himself on Tom Cruise because he is a spitting image of him when younger. I mean this guy has even got it down to the laugh.

Saw The Incredible Hulk again, which I still think is a fine film and better than Iron Man in my opinion. The material is handled better and Norton is a pretty magnetic actor. I've also seen Redacted which is quite a powerful film about the Iraq war. It's told through different eyes but it all kinda works and is pretty haunting. It doesn't portray the US Army in Iraq particularly well and I think resulted in Brian De Palma being branded a traitor by some people.

I went out a few Saturdays ago with my brother and got pleasantly drunk. I hadn't been on the sauce for a good few weeks and it was great to get to that drunken state of being friendly and having a great time but not too out of control or disorientated. There were a couple of girls who had their eye on my brother but they had guys hitting on them all night and I don't think he could be bothered. Unfortunately the night was cut short as the club we were at had to shut early but it was great to be out on the lash and I hope it will be good next time.

During the week I had a call from a market research company who wanted to talk to me about my experiences in Orlando. It was paid and in town so I headed along. For me it was easy money. Somebody basically paid me to tell them what I thought of Orlando. When wouldn't I enjoy expressing my opinion to someone? It was good fun and when they asked how I planned my holiday I just handed them the daily planner and itinerary that I'd put together. I think they could then see that I took my research seriously.

I walked back to my car with the ipod on and it was good to be in Central London. I intentionally did the circuit on my walk to the place covering Charing Cross Road, Tottenham Court Road, Oxford Street, Regents Street, Leicester Square and The Strand.

London can be funny. On one hand it gives you energy because you can feel the atmosphere and hubbub. You feel proud that you are there in your capital city and that it's one of the major cities in the world. On the other hand you see other people milling around and it can make you feel lonely. Like maybe you aren't experiencing as much of life as you should or that you are missing out on all the things these other people seem to be doing.

On TV I've been watching Spooks, which has been a great return to form. I've tried to watch it fortnightly so I can see one episode on BBC1 and then catch the next one on BBC3. They've been really good stories with plenty of action, characters dying and many a twist and turn.

We also caught up on about five episodes of the new Sarah Connor Chronicles. Similarly this has been excellent, which is surprising. Sometimes when a show gets the confidence of more money and episodes it gets caught up itself, like Lost, but not this. No, the writing is still there and they are still prepared to kill people off to remind the viewer that everything is not all sweet and rosy. Hats off to the creators for re-creating the 'lightning in a bottle'. I hope they can maintain it during the rest of the run.

Finally I did get an email today from the French producers of Rocking Clubber asking whether I could help promote the track with some 'live' performances in France! It could be exciting but I think I need to see what they are proposing in terms of promotion and what they are offering. I don't say that to sound like some kind of Prima Donna but having recently been in a cheesy Rochester nightclub when a star of Neighbours was paraded on stage and did a cringe inducing 5-10 minutes on stage, I wouldn't want that.

Being flown over to Paris in a Lear Jet, put up in a swanky hotel and after show partying with the girls of Crazy Horses sounds great but being pushed on stage of an unsuspecting Paris nightclub to bounce around the stage and perform the 'reveal' to a host of staring, unimpressed faces could be a little hard even for me. I'll try to keep you posted.

As a final bonus here's a video that's been up on YouTube. If you read the comments it's been slated for being chavy and crap but I think it's quite catchy and funny. I could be wrong but I think the group are taking the piss out of themselves and just having a laugh. Either way it made me chuckle.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ckMvj1piK58

Put a donk on it!

Thanks for tuning in.

 

12th November 2008

Hey everyone. Sorry for the delay in keeping this updated. We recently moved offices and the people that provide our internet connection, despite us asking, failed to tell us that it could take up to two weeks to swap over the broadband. Hence although everything went smoothly with the move, we had to resort to dial up, which pretty much curbed my chances to get on the net.

But I'm here now and I've taken a moment from the constant partying with all my new music video friends to bore you with my latest exploits.

You'll all be delighted to know that the music video is now available in glorious hi definition. Meaning that you can now see every strain, every ripple in my belly and every look of sexual longing from the female members of the audience towards me.

http://vimeo.com/2132398

In other news I've not been out a great deal though I did head out last Friday to see an old friend and then out on Saturday to watch the fireworks over Blackheath Common. It was good to be honest. I always like the chance to be genuinely outside so that I can plan for it with a coat etc rather than just hurrying somewhere, which is my normal exposure to the elements.

My brother got the TV. A rather fetching 40" Samsung LCD which does look pretty cool. It was good fun to see him going through very similar worries to what I do and did when I got the telly. When we got it home, he re-arranged his room, gave the beanbag I got him for his birthday a rightful home and connected the Xbox to his stereo which sounds great. His rig is now even better than mine.

It was great to see Barack win in the US, though I always knew he would. I say this because to me he was always miles better than McCain and was such a credible choice. I've discussed him, and his colour, in the Observations section.

We went and saw the new Bond film - Quantum of Solace, when it came out and I was disappointed. Knowing that it followed directly on from Casino Royale, we watched that again before we saw this to prep us.

As my brother said it really was one step forward and two steps back.  

Bad guys that weren't credible, especially when physically fighting with Bond. A woeful Bond girl in Fields that served absolutely no purpose other than to hark back to pointless non-pc bits of skirt, action scenes ruined by shaky cam or art w*nk overlaid to opera, M providing virtually all of the exposition to the story because the rest was just everywhere, a step away from realism to silliness, pointless hotels in the middle of nowhere with combustible hydrogen 'shoot to escape' panels, an all seeing, over arching organisation that exists and disappears as and when the writers see fit, believability issues in that even though M dramatically stops his movement with cards and passports Bond still manages to travel 1st class in a three piece suit even though he has no suitcases (if restricting his movement has no effect or relevance - why say it). 

Very disappointing. All the gains made in CR thrown away for cheap gimmicks and drama free action scenes.

If you want a gem of a film then check out Gone, baby gone. What a stunning wonderful film. It's directed by Ben Affleck who does a cracking, confident job. No pointless shaky cam, no overblown titles but simple, restrained storytelling that speaks volumes in my opinion. The performances are all top notch whether Ben's brother Casey in the lead role through to Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman. It has fabulous script and a thought provoking, intelligent story that leaves you with some interesting questions. I can't recommend it enough.

These last few weeks have seen a flurry of releases for the Xbox in the build up to the Christmas season. Fable 2, Fallout 3, GOW 2, COD 5 to name just a few. My brother and I have both been enjoying Fable 2 which with the fighting, customisation and ever faithful dog has been good fun. As usual I played it more on the evil side and although I didn't get to grow any horns my rating was pure evil.

Your character can get fat if he eats too many pies and meat so although I'm content to slaughter innocent villagers, it's been a strict diet of fruit and veg after I started to develop a little tummy! I've completed the game though I still didn't end up sleeping with anyone. The game allows it but I never saw a character I really fancied apart from the time when I was playing as a small boy and couldn't really do anything. Life imitating art perhaps?

I've been really enjoying Stephen Fry's tour around America programme that runs on BBC1 on Sunday night. I thought he would be the last person to 'get' America and would be arrogantly dismissive of them but he's genuinely surprised me. It's one of the best 'travel' style progs I've seen in a long time.

I think that is probably it for now. Not a great deal has happened really has it? With the change in weather, credit crunch etc I haven't been out a great deal and haven't even worn my new t-shirts yet! (shock, horror). I think maybe we'll head out this weekend so maybe they'll have a chance to shine.

In the meantime let me leave you with another music vid, though it isn't of me for a change. It's a very cheesy track from the 80's called Fascinated but I dug it up recently and I think it rocks.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxTZmisw2pA

Enjoy!

 

20th October 2008 - The music video has arrived

I know the excitement has been killing you like it has me, so without further ado here is the link to the Rocking Clubber music video.

http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/rocking%2Bclubber/video/x73kce_rocking-clubber_music

It's also on YouTube but I think the picture is smaller and of less quality.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=n7N45XzGn9U

It was surreal watching it for the first time, especially when I knew what went into the making of it. In a way it was uplifting to see the Fingerer immortalised yet sad because the waiting was over, if that makes sense. When I first saw it with everyone in the office I did have a moment about 50 seconds in thinking 'Christ, am I actually in this'. The other air guitarist, Turak, had some good moves and I can't deny that the guitar smash was very well done but then I got a glimpse of my eye from under the hood and those 'pulsing' fingers that they had spent some time filming.

The playing the guitar out of the box looked cool, especially with the black nail varnish against the black of the robe but the reveal was very pleasing. Initially I thought maybe I could have done better but Mike the director really did get the best shot as the cape fell away turning from black to red and I seemed to snap out my left arm to start the guitaring. The Gun and Lightning Bolt tattoos really stood out and I'm so glad that I got them done otherwise my arms would have looked very bland.

I don't know whether Mike had read on my journal about the 'moment' I had with the babe in the front row or that our intensity & chemistry had simply set the footage ablaze but I was delighted that he'd captured her looking up and interacting with me. Granted she is very good looking and hence the camera would focus on her but he's managed to make it look that she was crazy about me and couldn't wait to get back to my hot tubbed trailer! Oh the power of video editing. All the characters were there from the shoot and it is a testament to the director and crew how they made it look like one crazy, happening, buzzing venue. Jack Sparrow thankfully gets some good air time as does the DJ, the fire juggler, the dancer and even the rather moody compere.

I wish my brother had got more exposure but as he conceded, the extras were really there as filler as opposed to being stand outs. Still, our efforts to ensure that he stood out as much as possible means that if you pause the video at 2.40 you can see him looking wicked in all his white gear and really getting down with his bad self.

It's difficult to talk about the video without coming across as vain, deluded and attention seeking. Maybe I am and like talking about myself far too much. I guess reading this site, you already know that but I can't deny that when I do something I like or is funny I like to embrace it. I don't think I photograph brilliantly or am that interesting so when I do like my look on a given day or have done something different, I like to talk about it.

I don't think I could have asked for more from the video. The director put in all the elements of The Hooded Fingerer and I'm eternally grateful to him for his craft and for letting me be in his video. Naturally my gratitude also extends to those at Scopitone, Air Guitar UK for letting me know about the casting call and to my family and friends who encouraged me to go for it. I didn't mean that to sound like some kind of acceptance speech but I just don't want people thinking that I'm forgetting all those that made this happen.

In other news work has been very busy. We've been gearing up for the company move which although just up the road necessitates new stationery and a clever mailer to let everyone know where we are going. Added to this we have quite a few projects with different clients, which of course is great in this current climate.

I've not been out for the last few weekends. I've got my new t-shirts to wear but have felt a little 'fat' and also a little weary about going out. I still want to go out and have fun but I find that as a Saturday night approaches I can already predict how it's going to be. I don't mean that I have a vision but you know how when you consider watching a DVD from your own collection, just as you grab the spine the whole film seems to flash through your mind in a second, it's the same with going out.

There is the same predictability of getting ready, putting on something nice or funny, heading out with an optimistic air of "you never know what might happen tonight" before it begins to subside into the dreary predictability of - we are going to buy some drinks, maybe get drunk, someone might say something about one of our t-shirts but we won't be sure whether it's a lead in line or just a friendly comment, we'll get knocked into a couple of times, we might see someone exciting before their friends drag them off to another part of the club, we'll end up standing next to either the tallest or the drunkest guy in the club and eventually decide to leave when our miserable fuse has completely burnt out!

Christ, is it any wonder that very little happens when I head out! I'm only joking. To be fair it's handy to stay in and save a little cash at the moment and I did this weekend get to have another Dominoes New Yorker pizza, proving conclusively in my mind that it's the finest take away pizza of any chain, available at this time. There's just something in that tomato sauce, the thinness but solidity of the actual base and the generous amount/thickness of the toppings.

My brother has been thinking of getting a new HD telly in time for all these games which are coming out before Christmas. It's taken him to a similar place of LCD vs Plasma, contrast ratios and HDMI input geekness that I inhabited this time last year. Poor bastard. You think it's a simple selection process but once you start digging into the realm of AV wonder with a few a simple questions, all you get back is more questions and more dilemmas.

I recently heard the results of a survey where 60% of men questioned said they would trade six months without sex for a 40" plus TV. For the first time in ages this was a survey that I could say "Yes, I can see that".

On a final quick note I have at last completed GTA 4, which really has been a superb game. So in-depth, so rewarding and such good fun. I've also seen a couple of times now the film Street Kings with Keanu Reeves. It's a cracking, gritty police film with a good script and I think a great performance from Keanu. He's playing against type as one tough cynical cop and I liked it.

Thanks for stopping by and feel free to spread the gospel of "Rocking Clubber" to all of your friends and family, especially the young, single and large breasted female ones.

 

11th October 2008

So after the excitement of the last entry have I followed it with private jets to LA, strawberries eaten from the navel of nubile, buxom wenches and feted by the worlds press? Seemingly not. As I had said, the video won't be out for at least another week but that's fine with me. The globe has had a tough time this week what with all the financial hoopla, so maybe The Hooded Fingerer (along of course with all the efforts from the director and everyone else) can bring a smile to it's weary face. Make the world will see that although funds might be tight we can all still smile!

It was a busy week at work which could only really be followed by an incredibly lazy weekend. I think I ended up leaving the house on just two occasions and that was to simply get food! My brother was working over the weekend so I had a chance to catch up on some GTA 4, which is still delivering the goods and could well take me up to the coming new releases.

P had recommended the TV series Jericho for which we'd seen the first couple of episodes and liked so much that we bought the box set. My brother and I had been steadily working through them over the course of Saturday and Sunday night meaning that we managed to finish off series 1 and the seven episodes of Series 2.

It really has been a fantastic series. Straight up, one of the best things I've seen on TV for some time. I love how it's not afraid to be bold with the subject matter of someone exploding nuclear bombs on the US mainland and small town America having to deal with this. It deals with the survival elements of getting by as well as painting decent character portraits. The episodes deliver on substance and you don't feel you are being played or fed bogus bollocks like you did in Lost. Characters remain in character and don't do blatantly stupid things just to serve the story.

There are some characters that you think the writers will paint negatively like the hero's brother or the guy who wants to be the new mayor just to create the token bad guys but they don't. You also think that they won't have the courage to kill people off, despite having killed 20 million plus with the bombs, but once again they keep the audience on it's toes into not believing that everyone is automatically safe.

There's some great action scenes, plenty of touching moments and many times that made you cheer. The series was cancelled after it's first run but fans persisted with CBS and they made a second series with seven episodes. These raced along at breakneck speed and in all honesty would have been even better if they'd had been allowed to stretch over a few more episodes. But I guess the money wasn't there and thus full credit for the makers for not just dragging it out but rather cramming it all in. Ok it didn't give as many characters the chance to breathe but it delivered some really knockout episodes. And the ending, wow. It came with two on the disc but both again were so great. It didn't end all nice with everything tidily wrapped up but rather with things potentially being even worse. Brilliant series and definitely worth a check if you get a chance.

On the Sunday night we decided to have a pizza and thought we'd give Dominos another try. We had tried it about a year back when they brought out the Meateor but the base sauce was BBQ and it wasn't great. Phoned them and confirmed that we could have tomato sauce as a base. Man they were great. We got a Meateor and a New Yorker and the New Yorker was a damn fine pizza. I'm already looking forward to having my next one.

I was listening to an online radio station during the week and heard a track by a guy called WG 'Snuffy' Walden. The name was certainly memorable and liking the style of the gentle guitar tried to track him down on iTunes. Sure enough there he was. Apparently he's done a lot of TV work including Thirtysomething, The Wonder Years and The West Wing. Bought two of his tracks Sketches of Topanga and Love Unspoken. They are lovely melancholic tunes and you now me, always looking to add special tunes to the Melancholic playlist. Besides, everyone should have a little Snuffy in their collection.

Still talking about music I've always liked the song Mad World by Gary Jules. Hearing it always makes me proud of the UK. The song was released over here for Christmas and normally the British will buy all manner of pap to have a chirpy number 1. On this occasion though they bought one of the most thoughtful and potentially suicidal tracks around and made that Number 1. For me it showed a real maturity and/or a weary cynicism. Either way I'm proud that we had that as No 1 for a holiday when everyone is supposed to be happy. Does that make me sound even more miserable and cold hearted? - Probably.

Caught a reality-ish programme on MTV about Callum Best. I've never liked him a great deal but thought I'd watch a bit to see if his personality would come across. It did and I could wax lyrical about him but that would be time consuming, so I'll just say that he was as bad as I had thought he would be. A complete and utter prick.

Right oh. I've updated some of the other sections recently so feel free to check them out. Take care and we'll talk soon.

 

30 September 2008 - Music video 

So picking up from where I left off what other things did I need to bore you with?

Oh for all the ladies out there I've got a new mattress. The last one had a loose spring that was working it's way through the fabric and digging into me at nights. Clearly the bed isn't get much attention apart from my fat arse rolling on it so no one else was complaining. Still after a month of so of this I decided after much office derision to bite the bullet and order a new one. I managed to just about get it in my little fiesta and get it into the flat. It's a little bit higher than my previous one (maybe over the years I just compressed that one down!) so it feels a little like I'm 'floating' on the top as there is a bit more sway to it. It does however represent a new epoch and chapter in my life.

With a new mattress, three framed hooded fingerer pics to go on the wall by the bed and a womble lightshade what woman wouldn't be hugely excited about entering my bedroom.

I also heard a truly amazing fact a few weeks back about that Hadron Collider in Switzerland. Normally when scientists talk about fast moving objects it's hard to have any scale to judge the enormity of what they are saying against. The speed of light (SOL) might be a million miles in a minute but it's still hard for the brain to comprehend and hence why something more digestible resonates a little easier.

As you probably know the idea of the collider is to shoot atoms around the ring at near SOL speeds and get them to smash into each other and see what happens. The diameter of the underground collider is 27 kilometres and when at full speed the atoms will be doing 11,000 laps per second! Man, that is goddam fast.

So as I mentioned in my last entry I'd responded to that call for Air Guitarists on an extras website. After some email correspondence the people behind the music video got in touch and asked if I could meet up with the director to chat through some of his ideas. Thankfully he lived in East London, so after another client meeting (we've certainly been busy recently) I stopped in. Him and his girlfriend were really nice and we had a good old chat. I wasn't sure how much they were looking for but it seemed that he'd had this idea of a hooded/robed figure and when he'd seen my pics and profile I'd been like the square peg he'd been looking for. We talked through some of the other people that would be there and I gave them a little back story of the Fingerer came about.

I left there feeling pretty pumped at what role I might play in the video. From thinking that I would be in the background and you might have to pause it to pick me out it seemed that the Hooded Fingerer was going to have some kind of influence in the story and events of the video.

The night before was a frenzy of making sure everything was prepped for all possibilities. My brother had taken the day off so he could come along to keep me company and get in some of the crowd scenes.

The day didn't get off to a great start when we were delayed getting to the office by an accident on the Old Kent Road that must have happened about 10 minutes before our arrival. This meant that even though we were only about 500 metres from where we were picking the cab up we couldn't hook up with him. Thankfully he'd been delayed as well so when we rolled in half an hour after we'd arranged to be collected he had just got there himself.

He was a nice guy and made excellent time getting us to Hoxton Hall only 15 minutes later than when we were meant to. The downside was that he had the most rancid breath which I thought could be simply removed by opening the car window until I discovered that it had recently broken.

We hooked up with Chris who'd been the initial contact at Scopitone and he showed us up to a room where I could change. I pulled on my leotard and asked my brother to help me with pulling the back up. As he did so a tear developed in the rear seam. It was only about two inches long but you could see my pasty white skin beneath. Thankfully when I'd ordered the leotard the company had screwed up and sent me two so I quickly, and carefully, pulled on the spare. Before I did everything else I thought it best that I squeeze out a piss.

After finishing I squeezed, stretched and dabbed my knob yet once the leotard was pulled back up it decided to 'dribble' a little. Brilliant! I started rubbing it to dry it out and hope that it wouldn't stain, especially as it was in such a prominent area. Just at this point the director came bowling in and checking out the courgette that I'd stuffed down the front. They had asked me to look for a slightly smaller 'schlong' than the butternut that I'd used at the championship and hence the courgette seemed the most credible downgrade.

I must have looked great with the leotard straps around my waist attempting to rub away the piss dribbles on my leotard. Glamorous life this music video business.

Headed downstairs to a waiting area in all my gear and met the producer, Alex, who was a really nice guy. Gave him an HF badge which he remarkably put straight on the lapel of his jacket. I started filling out a form when I then managed to knock over an entire glass of orange juice and then compounded this by dragging my sleeve through it. The day was not going great at this point.

More people came in and I handed out badges to those that seemed friendly and which everyone seemed to be putting on, which was really cool. One of the podium dancers even came in and asked where she'd seen me before as she recognised me. It transpired that it was purely from the badges that she'd seen on other people. Headed back upstairs so the makeup girls could paint my nails black so they stood out even more. Both girls (Sarah & Carla) were really nice and I felt quite spoilt having them work on a hand each.

I was needed in the main hall to do some shots and thus headed in to start the filming excitement. I had to do very little to be honest apart from kneel down and pulse my clenched fingers whilst they took some shots and tracked in. They also had me doing slow eye openings and staring into the camera which although sounded easy suddenly seemed to become very hard. When someone asks you to slowly open your eyes and glare into a camera it's amazing how you suddenly find it hard to focus on where the camera is or worry that you are looking sleepy.

I had the cape pulled down low to cover my face and whilst I tried to take my mind off the pain/cramp that was slowly creeping into my thighs I considered my situation. It really was incredible that they were filming an item (the velvet cape) that I had brought with me and had used as part of my routine two months previously. What I mean is that in the aftermath of the 2008 championship I did have a moment when I thought that maybe I had gone to too much effort in my outfit considering the result, yet that very outfit was now helping to make me an integral part of this music video.

It was hard to believe that something that we'd sourced, stitched in the arms and hemmed was having such a real impact in the video. They were immortalising a real part of the Hooded Fingerer, my hooded fingerer.

After I'd been kneeling for about 45 minutes and had had side profile shots as well as ones up through my pulsing fingers they had to change the cameras and said I could take five. Man, I've never felt my legs be so badly fucked before. I flopped to the side and had to use my hands to straighten my legs out as there was absolutely no feeling in them.

Slowly the blood began to head back into them but with them came the most incredible pins and needles, though at least this was some form of physical reminder that my legs were still attached to me. I rolled onto all fours as life continued to return to my legs and literally crawled over to a pillar so I could use it to pull myself up. I've never been so rubber legged and I used the short break to move around as best I could.

I grabbed a quick glass of water before was called back into the hall to film some new shots. This involved another person walking in to kneel down and place a guitar case down in front of me. It was nice at last to be able to share the leg pain with someone else and also be able to trade some evil stares with someone.

I wasn't sure if he was going to take it overly serious but we exchanged a few verbal digs at each other to aid the staring. I told him that I was going to fuck him up and he responded in kind. I then had to open up the guitar case, pull out the air guitar and start playing with it.

That seemed to be it for the morning and everyone broke for lunch. I headed back into the green room which had now swelled with more extras. There were some crazy folks in there. The compere who wore a dark suit, top hat and seemed to just glare at everyone, his burlesque partner who wore a skin coloured micro skirt and bolero jacket with nothing on underneath bar the tassels on her nipples, the crazy tattooed guy with the spikes through his nose and screwed into his head, the two podium dancers, the four or five grade A honeys or the directors girlfriend, who I'd met on the Wednesday, that was basically wearing a bikini with a scoop of the fabric cut out of the back of the undies revealing a rather fetching expanse of bum cleavage and a pink featherboa.

One chap came in and sat down and I tried to instigate some conversation by asking whether he'd done any extra work before. He indignantly replied that he was an actor rather than an extra. I brought the conversation to a natural end and didn't bother with him anymore but I did find it amusing when I overheard him opening a conversation with another guy by asking whether he'd done extra work before!

There was even a Jack Sparrow impersonator who had the whole look and outfit down to a T. Furthermore he was a really nice, down to earth, humble bloke. He actually looked more like Luke Goss rather than Johnny Depp but his outfit was so convincing you didn't care. Still it's another actor he could impersonate. To give you an idea how good he was he'd done the motion capture work of Jack Sparrow for the latest Pirates of the Caribbean computer game. Apparently it had all started two years previously when he'd gone to a pirates fancy dress party and looked so good that people encouraged him to take it further.

We had a cool chat with him and his girlfriend about the trials of fancy dress, constantly being mistaken for Tom Cruise when in the NASA flight suit and how pleased he was that Johnny had confirmed his appearance in another Pirates of the Caribbean film. He seemed a genuinely good guy. Normally good looking blokes are arrogant arses but he hadn't let the attention go to his head and was still capable of warmth and humility. As my brother said he was one of those rare guys that you thought that if he was getting untold amounts of arse then I'd be glad because he deserved it.

I decided to brave another trip to the toilet and discovered that my kneeling activities had caused a tear to appear in the crossroad of seams right in my crotch. Now this was dangerous. Perform an energetic movement and we could be looking at a completely different reveal or just a lone bollock popping out. Either way as my brother said "Don't do any major high kicks because that video would find it's way onto Youtube quicker than anything".

We headed upstairs while the crew ate in the green room and I made a conscious effort not to put too much extra strain on my outfit. There were some fine women upstairs but as ever the chances of opening conversation with them were nigh on impossible. People were still people and pretty girls still knew they were pretty. Indeed at a club or bar you might think there would be a chance that a hottie might not be entirely aware how hot they were but at an event where they had turned up as an extra to rely on their looks, it was unlikely that they would be blissfully unaware of their attractiveness.

There was a young woman that looked like a slimmer, taller version of Nigella Lawson, her friend who had an air of the Jenny Agutter about her but had some of the longest legs I've seen and a sexy blonde dressed as an American cheerleader but who was accompanied by her beefy, dead eyed boyfriend who looked like he would kill you with a plastic cup if you so much as looked at his woman. Best of them though was this lovely tanned woman wearing shorts, shirt and a red belt. She had great legs, a wonderful rack and the biggest, most wonderful eyes. Despite the lunacy of my outfit I still wasn't sure if she'd even noticed me.

My brother was wearing a great outfit that we'd spent the night before deciding on what would be the most eye catching. He'd decided to go for an 'Usher' style look with crisp white trainers, dark jeans, a dark blue t-shirt, white linen jacket, white sunglasses and a white baseball cap. It looked awesome and I couldn't believe that despite the varied characters in attendance that there wasn't anyone wearing anything similar.

Whilst he headed down into the hall to film some crowd shots with all the other extras and the other air guitarists I at last collared someone to make a decision as to me getting some make up. I would have been up for having the full 'Kiss' style made up face but nobody would make a decision and not wanting to have continuity problems with my earlier look at camera scenes I thought it safe to go for some eyeliner. Once again the makeup girls were great. Fun, flirtatious and friendly.

I asked them to do the Gun # 1 and 2 on my arms and also the lightning bolts on my forearms so my arms didn't look too bland when I came out of the cloak. When I handed them the permanent marker and asked them to use that they did question whether I was worried about the 'poisoning' of my skin. Being an exhibitionist tart outweighs any fear of harm so I told them to press on. To be honest Carla, who did an excellent job of putting them on, admitted that using the pen made things so much easier and quicker.

It was time for my turn and I headed down to the music hall. I wasn't sure what to expect and what direction the director would give me. How did he want me to portray the Fingerer? I don't mean that from a serious actor point of view but rather after having filmed the 'Zen like' stuff earlier would he want me to play it reserved or wild?

What he did want was for the 'reveal' to come after the guitar solo that happened about two thirds into the track. This would be tricky because it meant keeping hidden the leotard whilst moving around and also that the big sleeves did cover a lot of the strumming hand movement. From having thought he'd have an action plan of exactly how to play it, he just said 'lots of energy and go for it'. I confess to feeling a little hesitant and self conscious. I had the rent a crowd in front of me who I'd seen whispering to each other and sniggering at my costume plus at least seven other characters behind me who would be doing their thing.

Suddenly the sense of fun was replaced with a 'gulp' and sense of 'shit, I've got to perform'. The track started and I moved around, did the solo, burst out of the robe and played to the crowd but it all felt poor and lacking any 'zip'. I didn't feel I was doing myself or the director justice. I couldn't figure out how to play the track. There isn't much guitar in it so if I tried to 'air' to that it looked boring but if I moved to the beat then how was I this master of air guitar?

Should I have been moving at all before the reveal to heighten the moment?

Should I look at the camera or ignore it?

Play to the crowd or treat them with derisory contempt?

Furthermore the crowd were completely different to what I'd previously encountered. At the championships they'd responded to my actions, music choice and reveal. I'd drawn energy from their reaction and vice versa. With these guys they were just there to bounce up and down regardless of what I was doing. I went again and fluffed up the reveal as well as the LED diamonte buckle swinging loose and switching off.

I began to find a little rhythm but before every time I came out of the robe the sense of separation from the audience was very real. I remember looking up to my brother who was in the balcony section and he gave me a thumbs up but I still wasn't feeling it.

One of the performers behind me asked whether I was a professional air guitarist. I couldn't deduce whether this because I was shit and looked amateur or because of the opposite. On one occasion we did a slow motion take and another where they filmed the crowd by coming up and over my shoulder. As they did this I retreated further back up the stage. Looking into the 'crowd' of 30 or so extras you really couldn't not notice my brother so I'm really hoping that he is visible in the finished product.

I came off whilst they changed the cameras and positioning and then we filmed some more of the compere, the other air guitarist, the Russian dancer and then me. I felt a bit better the second time round and still with no idea of what I should and shouldn't do tried to interject a tentative kick, pointing fingers and some stares into camera.

During all of these takes the lovely girl with the eyes was always in the front row of the crowd and we'd exchange looks, especially when after the reveal I would be thrusting my groin at the audience. On my last take I deliberately held her gaze after I burst out of the robe. Although she knew it, she was very sexy and I felt we had a 'moment'. Ok, it was nothing romantic and probably meant nothing to her but even though filming I couldn't help a little chuckle escape me when I eventually broke her gaze to move around the stage. When it finished she raised her hand up to slap my leg or perform a high five, I'm not sure which, but I did a low five with her.

Now I realise that might seem that I'm acting like some kind of over earnest geek thinking 'oh a pretty girl looked at me'. I'm not but I can't deny it wasn't nice having the attention and sharing a moment of connection with someone pretty. She moved up into the balcony section as they filmed some final crowd shots and I got the chance to look up at her for once. She knew I was looking and at one point performed this unnecessary stretch / lean over the railing to swell the size of her bosom. It was clear that she was used to guys staring and wasn't uncomfortable with being the centre of their attention.

By 5.30 it was a wrap and I started saying goodbye to people. I managed to find the girl with the eyes and thanked her for letting me look in them when I was on stage. I was going to tell her what great eyes she had but everyone assumes that's just another way of saying what a great rack you have! I also gave her friend a card of the website to give to her as she popped into the toilet to get changed. Naturally she hasn't been in contact but I didn't really expect her to. I need to have been a bigger star, be younger, more fit and have more money for her to even consider taking a second glance. Still handing her mate a card is the same as doing a line of lucky dip on the lottery. Highly unlikely but you never know.

I got changed back into civvies and after thanking all the crew (Tom Cruise does it so why can't I) and getting my appearance fee - a full £50 I'll have you know, we headed off. The director has to deliver the finished product on the 15^th October and he said that he would try and get a copy to me after that.

Brother and I headed back to the office and after filling in one of my colleagues who had stayed late, shot over to our favourite Indian to discuss the day. It had been a fascinating experience and I think I'd made some kind of impact. Lots of waiting as I'd heard people say many times before, a real feeling of transience that a diverse range of people had come together to then probably never see each other again but that would be immortalised forever in film. I was still disappointed with my performance and felt that maybe I should have done more.

I don't know what I could have done differently. Maybe gone a bit more freestyle or crazy. With hindsight it seems there was a lot more chance for me to do my own thing than I'd ever expected but I was always mindful that it was the directors vision and not mine and hence didn't want to do things that would contradict the idea or story within his mind. Although I wasn't happy, the makers seemed like they were and that's the important thing.

The crew were really cool and all had their little roles. The assistant director seemed to be the organiser and kept everything moving along whilst Mike the director, was more bouncing around with vision and big picture in his mind. But everyone was always friendly and polite and it's something that I would happily do again.

My brother made a good point when he said that at the competitions, I was co-ordinating my routine to specific tracks that had been chosen by me to provide the necessary hooks and highs of the performance. On this occasion I was doing it to a track that wasn't really designed for guitaring and was also going to be married to my actions in whatever way the director thought best to go with video. The most important thing was to give him plenty of generic stuff to use.

If the video manages to capture all the ingredients that make up The Hooded Fingerer such as the cape, the reveal, the leotard, the headscarf, the temporary arm tattoos and maybe one or two decent moves then I can't really be any happier. After the exposure that I got in the documentary on Air Guitar Nation I think this will be a really cool way to sign off. It's funny how on the morning after the championship I did feel a little silly that maybe all the efforts on the new robe and tunes had been a bit wasted but without them I wouldn't have got the great photos that David took and in turn from them I wouldn't have got the music video gig. I guess everything has a chance of somehow rolling onto something else.

The rest of the weekend was quite relaxed. When I awoke on Saturday there was still a little post come down and a feeling that I could have added a flash of invention here or there. Hit the gym and though the legs were a little achy decided that I would try and improve on the time I'd set on the bike the previous week of doing 5 miles in 23 minutes 30 seconds. I deliberately didn't burn too hard on the running machine so I had something left in the tanks. I started off hard and did my best to keep up the pace clocking myself down as each mile passed. As I approached the five mile mark I was flying but really tiring. I did however smash my time to set a new one of 21 minutes 50 seconds. I'd been aiming to maybe take a minute off so I was pretty chuffed.

My brother was out on Saturday night with some other mates so it was a pretty quiet one of some more GTA 4. Now that's how a music video appearing rock god likes to live - staying in playing computer games on a Saturday night!

Sunday was MotoGP and F1 but both were a little tedious if I'm honest. In the evening we hooked up with a friend to relay Friday escapades over some nosebag and then checked out Tropic Thunder. I must confess that I hadn't been expecting much but was pleasantly surprised. I don't mind a good laugh but had thought that maybe all the quality stuff had been in the trailer but not so. Stiller was funny, Jack Black was not only bearable but almost likeable, Downey Jnr was awesome and Tom Cruise was just fantastic. His character was so brilliantly over the top and funny that he practically stole the film.

I know that all his naysayer's are expressing their surprise at how funny he can be and so self effacing, but just as with Sly Stallone it's kind of frustrating to say to all those that jumped on the 'Let's hate Tom' wagon that he's always been like that but he also happens to be a professional and committed actor. The film really did have some killer lines and scenes in it and I'm amazed that there hasn't been an outcry and accusations of racism in Downey Jnr playing a white guy who is playing a black guy. The whole scene about Stiller acting as a retard in Simple Jack couldn't be funnier or more un PC, especially with Downey's memorable and much repeated in the office line of "Never go full retard"

And there you go. Sorry if that dragged on a bit but I wanted to make sure I got everything down of what was a very different day. I'm just excited to see what the director comes back with, whether it does The Hooded Fingerer justice, whether my brother is visible and whether it serves as a nice bookend for the Fingerer.

Rest assured that I'll keep you guys in the loop.

 

22th September 2008

I'd love to reward your patience with some stunning news one day. Maybe that I'd won the lottery or had a grade A model discover my site who forwarded it on to all her friends and I'd suddenly developed a cult following of sweet honeys but this entry won't contain any of that I'm afraid.

Just my normal musings on the trivialities of life.

I did have some excitement when I took a blogging socialite out for a couple of dates before heading back to hers for some hot action but it was only in a game. GTA 4. Yes I've got back into it and it has filled my time well. I got re-immersed into it's enveloping world and find myself recently awed by it's brilliance.

I'd stumbled across this character buried within the in-game internet, had contacted her and arranged to hook up for a date. I know it's only a game but I was intrigued to see what she was like, got some new threads and picked up her in the best car I could steal.

I took her to some different places (meals, bars etc), we got a little a fruity back at hers and in addition to sending me sexy texts she also she arranged a 50% discount at the clothes stores when I wanted to get some new clothes.

However what really amazed me was when I stumbled across her blog on the in-game internet and it had been updated on a daily basis with salacious details of the dates that I've been taking her on ie when we've gone drinking or to restaurants and of the fact that we are shagging.

It just blew my mind that someone would have gone to the lengths to create something that maybe 1 in every 50 players might stumble across. What a really astonishing game.

I am well aware that this is not real life so please don't fear that I'm becoming enveloped in a game so much that I'll never leave the house and start believing that it's ok to steal cars and kill people whenever I feel like it.

I did get mashed up a few weeks back with my brother as an early birthday celebration but there was no female interaction, not even the merest hint of anything and the highlight of the evening was the fried egg sandwich that I made once I'd got in. It had been some time since I'd fried up an egg whilst still swaying!

On the Friday before our birthday, the two of us went for a curry at our favourite Indian restaurant. It's such a great place that I always consider it a treat and am always happy to pay the bill for I feel they've deservedly earnt it. It doesn't seem to get much trade but we are always greeted like rockstars when we head in, receiving a handshake and shown to our table by the window. The food is always excellent and they like to bring out a new starter that they are trialling every time.

Saw Rock n rolla which was poor I thought, It could have been Snatch II. He's becoming like Tarantino, basically doing the same old stuff and deluding himself that he's still cool. It's cool on the first go and maybe the second but after that if you don't change the formula then it's just the same old shit.

Gangsters ruminating and philosophising about trivia, thugs interested in art, hoodlums with exotic methods of animal disposal (pigs/crayfish), unkillable Russians, man at the top being whacked to make all the problems disappear and the list goes on.

Everything is forced into being convenient to have a tidy ending regardless of whether it actually works or not. I mean Cookie buys the painting for 1-2's bit that he's never mentioned so he can give it to her and then Abramovich sees it - blimey.

Granted it was better than the truly awful and self indulgent Revolver but all he is doing is rehashing either his stuff or borrowing from QT.

Had a couple of cheesecakes from The English Cheesecake Company, which once again were excellent. My Chocolate Truffle Vanilla Profiterole Choc Fudge Frenzy http://www.cheesecake.co.uk/shop_8inchceleb_choctrufprofitvan.html was just awesome, if very rich. So much so that my first piece should have been smaller. I want it again.

For my birthday I got three of my Hooded Fingerer pics that had been taken at the event framed by colleagues at work, just to help massager my ego (or is that alter ego) a little more. In addition they have also set aside some funds for me to have Sky TV + broadband, which could be very dangerous. I've always tried to refrain from having Xbox live as I think it has the power to suck me in for every waking hour. Couple the chance to play games with everyone around the world 24/7 AND also flick through a multitude of digital channels and I really don't need to bother wasting my time looking for women anymore do I?

Ordered two more bespoke t-shirts from Spreadshirt recently after trying out the messages in the office. The first "I'd like to butter your muffin" was a straight out suggestion by M that I liked so much I went for. The other "Mmmm, lovely. I'm putting you in the bank for later" seems to divide. Some don't get it, some do but think it's ok and others think it's particularly offensive/risqué and thus hilarious. I'm in the latter camp and thus went and ordered it.

Our local bar was having a proper fancy dress event on the Friday and we felt it our duty to head over and check it out. It had initially been a services fancy dress but this had been opened out when they realised they might not get enough people. We were doubtful of what a Friday would be like but went along. There was a surprising amount of people there but very few that had made any effort on dressing up. I felt for the owners because they'd clearly spent some time and effort prepping.

We still got the usual crap from people. Me for being Tom Cruise and my brother for whether he was in the army. Even on a services specific fancy dress night people still seem to get the arse because he isn't a real soldier. Talk about getting hoisted just because your outfit is too damn good. They even had Top Gun playing on the video screens yet people still said the same shit.

It's amazing the way some people will react to mirrored shades. I had girls coming up and trying to take them off me whereas as others came up to ask to borrow them so they could take photos of each other on their phones! Hey I love a pic of myself but how empty they must be to want to take a pic of them wearing something else they've borrowed from someone else. There's no effort in their asking. No sweet talk and no thank you's afterwards. You are almost tempted to simply tell them to fuckoff when they ask.

I even had one guy who begged to borrow them so he could dance with them to a song whilst he tried to showboat infront of some girls. Again how strange to want to impress someone by dancing / parading infront of them with something that belongs to someone else! 

We did have two girls approach that were wearing a policewoman outfit and a builders one but couldn't be sure if they were genuinely interested in talking to us or not. At the time we were buying a drink from the bar and after we moved away they stepped in to get a drink. My brother had noticed that the builder girl had a copy of The Sun tucked into her back pocket which was a nice touch but when I mentioned they seemed to give us short thrift. Maybe it's me being cynical but I think maybe their original approach was only because we were at the bar.

On Saturday I went to get my hair cut and saw another wonderful example of society. I parked up in the car park and heard a commotion when I got out. It seemed that a girl driving an old Corsa and on her mobile phone had been driving too fast within the car park and potentially threatened the safety of the two children of this couple.

Now this girl may have been in the wrong and driving a Vauxhall and being on her mobile doesn't do her any favour but the actions of the parents were equally despicable. Whilst they may have been concerned over the welfare of their kids they choose to demonstrate this by screaming obscenities at the girl and the father threatening to drag her out of the car and kick the crap out of her. The mum even managed to get the car door open.

Now again I can understand being protective but it's just the way these parents delude themselves that they are caring for the kids whilst setting a horrible example of telling this girl that she was a 'silly fucking cow' and how they were going to smash her face in. To some extent I almost felt like saying you might as well have run the kids over because with parents like that they are only like to grow up and either stab someone, turn to crime or becoming scrounging scum.

On Sunday my brother and I went to a paintball day. We had the usual pre nerves, not from being hit but rather not having any good games or not performing pretty well. The day didn't start well with a larger than normal selection of loud, boisterous twats who proceeded to talk through the safety briefing. Then on the very first game, the whistle blew to start and myself, my brother and another ran to the left and were all immediately shot from the left even though the enemy was meant to have started some 200 metres directly in front of us.

It was blatantly obvious that the other side had cheated because there was no way they could have flanked us so quickly. Still I had the honour of being the very first person of the day to be shot which was a humbling comedown from the last time I'd gone when I won Player of the Day.

The day continued like this with people not taking their shots, continuing to still walk around when they had been shot and should have returned to base and clearly doing anything they felt. The marshals increasingly lost control, people swapped sides as they felt fit and one guy even threatened to start a fight with a marshal even though he didn't have the courage to stand up earlier when he'd been named and shamed for breaching all the rules. Wankers like that and paintball clearly don't go together and it made for one of the worst experiences of paintball I think I've ever had. The guns are so lame that you practically have to be on top of someone (ie within 10 feet) before you can sure that you will hit them and I don't think I had one confirmed kill throughout the whole day.

I'm off work tomorrow as I'm going to be filming a music video as The Hooded Fingerer. A casting call had gone out for Air Guitarists and I had responded. I met up with the director last night and went through what his vision is. It seems like he has a sizeable role for me, which naturally had me very excited. I'm going with my brother, who will be in the filmed crowd scenes, so I'm hoping it will be an interesting day for us. I'm getting paid a little for it as well as there being catering.

I'll let you know how it goes. Take care.

  

4th September 2008

Well I've certainly been a little lax in updating as of late. Sorry to those that might have been swinging by but at least it gave you the time to check out all those other sections that you've been meaning to visit! To be honest right after Air Guitar was the Olympics, so I spent a lot of my evenings catching up on these.

I always enjoy the Olympics. One gets tired of seeing football matches where you can see they aren't trying that hard because they know they've got the following week to do it again. With the Olympics you've got a whole range of sports where everyone competing is at the very top of their game and very determined that this could be their one and only chance.

The weekend that immediately followed Air Guitar was pretty much spent catching up on the Olympics and our excellent turn in the rowing. The BBC put together this montage of Redgrave & Pinsett set to music that was really quite touching and a lovely piece of TV. I also enjoyed the cycling and our dominance in the velodrome. I was however disappointed with how we did in the Madison and for Mark Cavendish.

He'd come to the Olympics after memorably winning 4 stages of the Tour de France and him and Bradley Wiggins had won the Madison at the World Championship a year previously. Bradley was going for his third gold medal but was clearly exhausted and him and Cav ended up finishing 8th. I was a little annoyed at Bradley if I'm honest.

Wiggins was selfish to try the third event and the decision to let him was wrong. It might sound like sour grapes, and I am delighted with our results, but they have been achieved by a very hard rule within the British Cycling team.

If something isn't helpful in achieving gold, it's discarded. If someone isn't believed capable of winning a gold then someone else is given the chance. The focus is on winning and nothing else. Jamie Staff reinforced this point on an Olympic Breakfast by saying that if the Paula Radcliffe situation had existed in the cycling she wouldn't have been able to compete.

Bradley Wiggins' ego in wanting to get three Gold's like Chris Hoy meant that Cavendish came away from the velodrome as the only GB cyclist competing there who didn't get a medal. Which is a little unfair. If this was an individual event, then so be it but you have a responsibility to your team mate to be at your best. Mark did try sprinting and breaking from the field but Wiggo had nothing left in the tank. Cavendish has worked hard for this yet comes away with nothing because Wiggins' ego was too big and the selectors didn't have the courage to say no. There is also the idea that it stopped someone else from competing in the event. Cav cut short his Tour de France campaign, and the glory he was receiving in it, to compete in the Olympics.

Unfortunately there seemed to be a news blackout on the post Madison analysis so I never got to see if Bradley was genuinely gutted for Cav. Just to re-iterate I'm over-joyed at our performances but the cycling team has got where they are by being very hard on themselves. Making excuses for Wiggins' performance and decision to race would undermine the very fundamentals of their success.

Other events were just as entertaining. Beating the Chinese in the quarter finals of the mixed badminton was quite sweet, the gymnastics was amazing as ever, Michael Phelps was incredible and Usain Bolt was hugely impressive. In other events, certainly the athletics, Team GB were disappointing and work will be needed for London 2012. But I can't deny that spending some time as 3rd place in the medal table before finally being caught by Russia and pushed to overall 4th is not bad at all. It was particularly delicious to have beaten Australia in the medals table. M suggested we pull on some GB tunics and go for a drink in Walkabout. I would have happily done this and am very proud of all our achievements.

My favourite Olympian though has to be Chris Hoy. Such a dominant force and such a powerhouse yet displays wonderful humility and grace. I caught some of his blog which was humorous and sincere and in the interviews he came across as really genuine. He seemed really moved by his achievements and when the national anthem was played. For me though the best showcase for his personality was his generosity in heaping praise on his team mate Jason Kenny who got a silver with him in the Sprint final. He came across as a very nice guy and the consummate sportsmen that you wouldn't feel bad about losing to.

When the Olympics ended there was a tinge of melancholy as there always is that it had come to an end and that I should have tried to watch more. It's daunting to think that in 4 years time the worlds attention will be focused on us to drop the ball and although we won't be able to match the Chinese I think we can do it. The Commonwealth Games that were held in Manchester in 2000 were very well staged and if we put our mind to it, I think we can deliver a good games.

I just hope people take a little bit of national responsibility and pride that the world is coming to little ole Britain and that we will do our best to give every one a good time. It's easy to put the boot in and say it will be crap and we've got 4 years of sniping media to contend with. I would consider being a volunteer but I don't know if being a bag inspector or queue attendant will give me as good a flavour of the games as opposed to being in the audience. I also don't know how the tickets will work but I do hope that I manage to go and see a fair bit and support this countries sportsmen.

During the week I decided to fight back at those goddam circular emails and after having one forwarded to me by my mother of all people hit back further up the chain. Check my Rants section for what this entailed.

Didn't do a great deal over the Bank Holiday weekend. We faced the eternal dilemma of whether it was worth going out as on so many previous Bank Holiday weekends everywhere seems so quiet. Stayed in and hired a game on the 360 called Grid. It was a driving game that was mildly entertaining but only really for a night and nothing more. I think an element of us wished that we had gone out so on Sunday we decided we would check out the local town.

We ummed and aahed about 'tying one on' but thought if everywhere was dead it was better if one of us was driving for us to move on somewhere else. I'd also been given a 50% money off voucher for Pizza Hut so we decided to cover all bases. We grabbed a sit down couple of Pizza's and then wandered down to the bars. There did seem to be people out surprisingly but the more the two of us talked, the more cheesed off we became with the whole charade of being out.

What better way to escape the bullshit than head to the pictures to see The Dark Knight. It was probably one of the best experiences we've had because due to it being a 11.30 performance the auditoria was completely empty bar ourselves. Hence when the certification screen came on where I normally utter a small cheer we decided to rip it up with whoops and hollering. Plus of course any bits during the film that really caught our eye could be vocally acclaimed. It was good to see it again and rather than losing it's power or seeming long, just re-enforced what a truly cracking film it is.

Headed out this last weekend to Strawberry Moons in Maidstone. I've always had a good time in Maidstone and the fact that we decided to go in fancy dress I expected a top night. I'd managed to both get to the gym and play some badminton during the day so I was feeling reasonably good if not suffering from an exercise headache.

I wore my NASA jumpsuit and my bro his army outfit. It seemed that everyone thought I was trying to be Maverick from Top Gun due to the mirrored aviators and flight suit. I so wanted to correct them with "Listen I'm sorry but Mav never wore an ORANGE jumpsuit that was covered in NASA and space shuttle badges and he never wore mirrored shades. The only person that did was Sundown, the black Navigator that partners Mav once Goose has died".

My brother though seemed to get it even worse with a couple of squaddies coming up and asking if it was a real uniform. He was always honest but because these people had been hoodwinked they then seemed to get pissed off that we were disgracing the uniform and hadn't earned it. Right so if we'd worn a piss poor, ill-fitting one that would have been ok, if we'd worn camos that would have been ok, if we'd lied and said that we were in the Army would that have been ok. He, and I when I wore mine, were  just wearing them because they looked smart and cool. And the reason they did was because they were the genuine article. Furthermore we weren't being dishonest because we weren't claiming to have served or risked our lives. On that particular night it was a doctors and nurses night but I didn't see any women being berated that they hadn't earnt the nurse uniform. Ridiculous.

What was amazing was how we went for a McDonalds afterwards and whilst going through the drive through the guy commented on whether I worked for NASA. He could only see like my shoulder and a bit of the front yet he knew exactly what it was. Oh well, the double 1/4 pounder more than made up for our disappointment.

Amazingly I've had some really nice things emailed to me about my website recently. A few people seem to have discovered it, understood me and found enjoyment in my particular brand of bullshit and hearing this most definitely made me smile. So if you are reading, thanks for your kind words and support. Naturally this is also extended to the very few old faithfuls that I have.

Take care.

 

10th August 2008. Air Guitar 2008

Well the days counted down to Air Guitar and the trepidation built. There was more pressure this year I think, as I tried to improve on last year's performance and also to see whether the experience could be as good.

The weekend before the event was a quiet one as I tried to grow further the stubble on my face to be able to give me more to work with come the Friday night. I managed to squeeze in some last minute badminton as well as quite a few DVD's.

First off was Glory Road, which was an American college basketball film. It was in the vein of Hoosiers and starred Josh Lucas. It was good entertaining fun but not quite as good as Hoosiers or Remember the Titans. It starred a guy who looked like he was doing his very best to do a Jon Voight impression. Now, I don't know if the opposing coach that he was playing was a spitting image of Jon Voight but you could either say it was a great impression or a distracting performance!

Next up was National Treasure 2, which actually featured Jon Voight. Again this was fun and entertaining and although it didn't take itself too seriously still offered up some good set pieces and interesting facts. It was certainly more enjoyable to watch than Indy 4. It was also good for this lovely actress right at the end who asked Cage's sidekick to sign his book for her. Wow, what a wonderful looking girl.

Sunday and we continued the film fest with Vantage Point. An excellent little thriller that threw up plenty of enjoyable surprises and a killer car chase. We closed the weekend with 30 days of night which we'd seen and enjoyed at the pictures when it originally came out. It was still god.

The following week was prepping for the event. I got my online entry in, purchased the butternut and did some dress rehearsals in the office. The badges arrived, which I thought looked pretty cool. I know it sounds egotistical but I just thought they would be fun to hand out or even throw out into the crowd. I had the performance nailed but by the final few times I felt it was beginning to miss it's 'zip'. Almost as if I'd practised it so much that it was beginning to go away from me as opposed to still climbing up the hill to perfection.

The day arrived and it was do or die. I'd shaved a biker looking moustache into my face, which if you can imagine looked like an 'n' going along my top lip and then bracketing my mouth straight down, over the chin and down the neck. It looked pretty impressive and a model of what I'd tried to achieve the previous year. M put the Gun # 1 and Gun # 2 on each bicep and added some lighting flashes onto the inside of my forearms. With the black nail varnish that I'd applied, I thought the red and black contrast looked really cool.

I left the office early to get changed at M's and we took a cab up to Islington. There were some nerves but they were different, maybe because I knew what to expect this time. I got there, signed in and headed up to the 'green room'. The atmosphere was strange. There were plenty of regular faces who all seemed to have been immersed in the air guitar scene more but yet hardly any of them had seen Air Guitar Nation film. There just seemed to be another level of 'clickiness' that I wasn't part of. There was this cocky American who I took an instant dislike to when he rudely interrupted a conversation I was having to introduce himself. I thought he was a knob yet others seemed mesmerised by his bullshit.

The main organiser had asked me to get there a little earlier to do some press interviews but nobody seemed to want to conduct any interviews and the organiser remained his normal aloof self. It's funny that he's happy to use my image for marketing his event but yet when I arrive couldn't be less interested in speaking to me. I'm not saying that he should be all over me but you'd think he'd want to chat to someone who so fully embraced the event.

I found myself minding my own business and probably coming across as arrogant, which I certainly wasn't trying to do. I was happy to talk to anyone but just not mill around, hanging on someone's shoulder. The photographer who'd been there the previous year asked to take some more photos and he said some really nice things like how memorable I'd been the previous year, should have won it and had been the main photo for a piece that featured in The Guardian.

We headed downstairs and I got interviewed for a podcast programme called The 11th Commandment. The presenter seemed a fun bloke and we had a good laugh and a chat. He was also performing on stage as Johnny Hotsausage. I gave him some him a last minute tip about keeping his left arm bent and reasonably still, so as not to emulate my wild swinging around from the previous year. I'd heard people coming off stage talking about how their tracks were longer or shorter than they had expected and someone even commented that as the sound guy was playing them on a DJ mixing CD player, the pitch had been cranked right up.

They had changed the flow of the event from the previous year. Instead of having the 30 second elimination round with the chosen few going through to play the whole 60 seconds, everyone got to do their 60 second routine. This might have been fairer but I personally don't think it worked, as it meant the audience got bored. I think it is far stronger when they see a short piece, which allows them to identify with a performer and in turn look forward to seeing them again if they make it into the 2nd round.

My turn came and I headed out onto stage. We had cut the minute track so that it would start with the Halo theme performed by Steve Vai. The monk like chanting at the beginning really worked well with the hooded cape, especially when the guitar piece came in and you had the neck slide. We'd even cut in Bjorn Turoque's quote from the Air Guitar Nation "To air is human, to air guitar divine" over the very beginning of the track. I thought it was inspired but I think hardly anyone picked up on it.

From the neck slide Pearl Jam's Even flow kicked in as I flung off the cape and stepped out in the bright red leotard. After being told last year that I needed to work on technique and control my flailing left hand I was keen to nail out the moves. Pearl Jam finished to be followed by the stellar guitar solo from Extreme's "Get the funk out". I had some good moves on that and was building to a big finish when the DJ cut me off with 2 seconds to go. We had timed my track with a stopwatch and it was dead on 60 seconds but he clearly hadn't noted the second or two of nothing at the beginning of my track.

It was hard to hide my disappointment and I did turn round to give him a withering stare. It was all a bit of a blur really. In some ways it had gone quickly yet in others it had really dragged. I couldn't really hear much of the music when I was on stage and the audience seemed less responsive than they had the previous year.

The judges gave their opinions and decided that this time that I was too static. They did ask me what I thought and I did begin to bite by starting to want to say 'well last year it seemed that tedious technique was more important than anything and now it seems that it's more important to jump around the stage". Thankfully I managed to stop myself and bite my tongue before I sounded like a bad loser. I just said that I wanted to entertain the audience and that was all.

I headed off stage and didn't even bother throwing any badges into the stage. I knew that they hadn't liked the routine or seemingly appreciated the stellar tracks that we'd put together but what the hell. I watched some other performances from upstairs and there seemed to be no consistency in the marking. There was a guy that went a few after me who seemed to have technique and stage movement yet they hammered him!

Midnight Moses came on to do a great routine that started off with him playing the music from the pink panther before knocking off his hat revealing a shock of long hair and kicking in with a heavy rock version of it. It was a great performance and I chatted to him backstage where he impressed me with his humility and his dis-interest in hanging with the screaming, attention seeking fuckwits that were backstage. I know it might seem silly me slating someone for saying they are attention seeking when I'm in a red leotard and had made up badges but that was part of the show as opposed to me actually believing it.

They called everyone back to reveal what six had made it through to the final and to be honest my disappointment had sunk to the point that I didn't want to be called even if I had made it. I headed back up and round saying goodbye to the nicer people that I'd met and came down the stairs at back of the crowd. My brother was waiting there along with my work colleagues. They filled me in on their take of the event.

They felt the crowd was different and with nearly 30 different acts coming on thought they'd become bored and dis-interested. The six finalists did their play off and to demonstrate the inconsistency of marking, five of them were evenly tied so they had to play off again. You could see people leaving and there certainly wasn't the same atmosphere that had existed the previous year.

I had some people come up to shake my hand which felt really nice and I gave them some badges. One group of girls came up and made my night. They asked to have their photo taken with me and then said how they had seen me when they had booked their tickets. They said they couldn't then believe it when I had then come on stage to perform. Kindly, they said I had been robbed and naturally I gave them some badges. Their comment brightened my mood because it meant that someone had wanted to see me and my appearance had made a difference.

We headed off when Midnight Moses was announced as the rightful winner but again there didn't seem to be the playful crowds as people spilled out into the evening air. I know it sounds like sour grapes saying 'oh it wasn't the same as last year' but it did feel different but I understand if you think my reception is clouding my judgement.

We saw my cousin to the underground, me still in full regalia, and then hailed a cab. I should have gone to the toilet before we left but the thought of pulling my leotard down at the venue had been too fraught. On the cab journey back I wish I'd had though as the desire to take a piss became unbearable.

By the time I fell out of the cab at my friends house I was nearly doubled over with the pain. I'd never felt anything like it. I guess the adrenaline had kept it all tied up but now my body couldn't hold it anymore. Things were so bad that I knew I couldn't make it up to his flat and with his permission had to clamber into the bushes in the communal parking area to relieve myself. I must have gone for at least two minutes!

We discussed the evening over the usual feast of KFC, which always helps brings one back to earth. I can't deny that I felt a little deflated and almost a little silly for the time and effort that I'd expended. Hearing further stories from my friends it seems that when the compeer introduced me she did so as "the most photographed person in UK Air guitar" and that when my low scores were read out somebody chucked first a bottle and then a cup at the judges.  

I'm glad I did it and I think I put on a good show. I think if I hadn't gone back I would have always deluded myself that it would have been full of busty teens shouting out my name! I've since spoken to the photographer on the night and got some great pics from him. So with those (You'll find one at the head of my Growing Paynes gallery) and my appearance on the DVD, I think it's time for The Hooded Fingerer to retire. I've done everything I could with him. I think I added something to the scene but maybe the Fingerer could find a role in world politics. Maybe he could put his finger in the dyke of human injustice!

The one down side of the night was that I missed the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony and I love the Olympics. The highlights on the news looked fabulous with plenty of fireworks and it fired me up for the coming fortnights competition.

Saturday was a strange day. I couldn't be arsed to go to the gym and I think the previous days and weeks had taken a toll on me. I wasn't like shattered or anything but more just reflective of the night before. I did feel like I'd expended a great deal of time and effort on something that didn't really pay much back but I think this was more just from feeling low from something being over. Not a great deal else happened that weekend though we did win our first gold medal of the Olympics on the Sunday through Nicole Cooke in the cycling with was great.

Well I'm going to sign this entry of here and then continue with the following weeks.

Here's a link to the two galleries that the photographer at Air Guitar took. I really like the pics and he's a great photographer. I think I might have to get one of the portrait ones of me blown onto a huge canvas and placed above my bed!

http://www.davidjensen.co.uk/airportrait/album/index.html

http://www.davidjensen.co.uk/airguitarchamps2008/album/index.html

And finally here is a link to a little piece that ITN did on this years event.

http://uk.truveo.com/Airriffic-Airrobatics/id/2466278400

Talk soon.

 

1st August 2008

We've been having a lot of sun recently which is great and means I've been able to regularly wear shorts into work. The downside is that my bedroom cooks during the day and only seems to have cooled, despite windows open and fans on full blast, when the sun rises the next morning on the opposite side of the flat. Basically it seems to take the time it takes for the sun to go round the other side of the world before my bedroom is cool enough to sleep in.

I'm not someone who can go to bed early at the best of times so certainly for this last week I haven't been getting off to sleep until about 4.00ish. Then my alarms start going off at around 6.30. I can carry on for some time without much sleep but even my body begins to protest after a couple of consecutive nights of about 3 hours kip! In the heat the bed seems to get smaller, the bed linen turns into like the thickest wool ever and my mind races over a million things, which normally take me down dark and depressing roads.

Still there has been plenty of highlights. On Thursday afternoon I got a call from a client about some free tickets he had for the Comedy Store. I hadn't shaved and was wearing shorts but along with my brother we said what the hell. Stopped in at Asda's to pick up a new t-shirt as mine was a little dirty from where I'd cuddled Biscuit and drove into town. Managed by pure chance to get a space in my favourite parking place right next to Charing Cross, though I did have to phone Westminster City Council just to be doubley sure what time you could park on single yellows from. There were no signs up and I wasn't going to take any chances.

Waited outside for the client and watched London go by which is just as fascinating. So many people, such a buzz and it really does shame you into thinking that you should visit it more. They turned up and we headed downstairs. There wasn't any seat allocation and we found ourselves three rows from the front which was fine. The acts were all very funny and provided much laughter and merriment. There didn't seem to be any air con on in there meaning it was very muggy and I was glad to be wearing the shorts. The place offers excellent value in my opinion. The drinks at the bar seemed reasonable and at £16 a ticket you get 2 hours of solid entertainment within the heart of central London. Perfect date territory in my book.

Made a quick pit stop into the golden arches on the way back to the car and gorged ourselves on the double quarter pounder cheese, which I'm delighted to say seems to have made a re-appearance. I'm a firm believer in exquisite dining as you know so clearly there is no finer way to dine in London than in a car with a double quarter box on your lap, a strawberry shake in the cup holder, a box of 9 chicken mcnuggets balancing on the dash and a spare cheeseburger in a bag by your feet. Oh and of course a view out the windscreen of the Hungerford bridge and the Millennium wheel in all their night time glory!

Friday was another hot day and a trip over to Bluewater to catch The Dark Knight. Grabbed a bit of pasta from TGI's beforehand (I've taken a shine to one of their chicken, pepper and penne pastas) before taking our seats. Needless to say they were perfectly placed and the auditorium was full for the first night.

There had been a lot of hype for The Dark Knight, certainly with Heath Ledger's death and I really hoped it would deliver. I thought the previous Batman Begins was ok but it hadn't blown me away.

This film though was awesome and I loved it. One thing I think really helped was that the city didn't look like Gotham. Sometimes, particularly with Batman Begins, the films get so caught up in trying to show this crumbling decaying city that you find it hard to place it anywhere. 

I know the story is fiction but you need a little reality to ground it in and I think making Gotham look like any other city helped. It seems in other films they were always pre-occupied with the urban planning and the whole glistening towers for the rich and slums for the poor. You'd have modern monorails travelling through skyscrapers on one hand and then Victorian buildings on the other.

It was like the city itself was wrestling for screen time that kept pulling you out of the story. Granted I'm sure Gotham is painted like this in the comics but I found dropping the whole 'urban decay' thing allowed the makers to concentrate on the film, which was fantastic.

There was so much content in it. Halfway through and you would have expected a studio exec to say 'that's enough, we've already got the punters money'. But no they just carried on as if the film was made by genuine fans and believers who wanted to deliver the ultimate batman film as opposed to just making enough to secure the audience to come back for the third film.

This point was clearly shown in two face. You would have expected the makers to drag it out to bring him back for the third but it was great that they just carried on with his story and let it run. You didn't leave the cinema feeling cheated or wanting more.

All the characters had weight and where as in the first you felt that Caine and Freeman were in there to needlessly add gravitas in this one they were necessary.

As for the Joker I always felt Jack's version had too much showmanship, flamboyance and not enough menace. It was always Jack Nicholson playing the Joker as opposed to the Joker played by Jack Nicholson, if that makes any sense! I always thought that the only decent version of the joker would be Mark Hamill's from the animated series but Ledger certainly stepped up to the plate.

His villian was probably one of the first that could trade equal fear/respect with Batman. Normally Batmans opposite numbers are so outlandish that they are silly or certainly don't represent a credible threat. This one was certainly different and was the perfect nemesis for the Bat.

Refreshingly dark, high in both short and long term entertainment value, great acting and writing and the best live action version of Batman I've ever seen.

Saturday was back to the gym and another good session. I'd got an email during the week from the DJ of the local bar/club that we go to about how it was having a fancy dress party. I had said to the owner at the beginning of the year that he should have a fancy dress party because I wanted to wear my orange NASA spacesuit so I couldn't not go could I? There hadn't been any posters in the window so I fully expected there to be very few people dolled up. I still had my moment of indecision, as did my brother after having worked a long day, but sometimes you've got to do a Joel Goodson and say "What the fuck!"

We ordered a cab and sunk a few reefs as we got ready. Brother was going for the officers outfit we'd worn at Christmas and I added to my suit with a crisp new white t-shirt, our Florida dog tags with the orange silencers on them and some truly awesome mirrored aviators that we'd got from Bluey. Man these things felt big and I could felt the bottoms of them on my cheeks. I did consider the NASA baseball cap which looked cool but as my brother said did I want to look like a pucker astronaut with the cap or an astronaut with a hint of 'maverick'. I left the cap at home.

We got to the bar and unsurprisingly couldn't see any other punters in fancy dress. The staff were though and they were very kind. The owner came over for a chat and bought us a shot for our efforts before we headed downstairs. The bar staff were even friendlier and were really made up that we had made the effort. We even got two more free drinks. I'm a tart so I loved the attention, which was all good spirited, and the hope was that every womans eyes would be drawn to the orange of the suit and then see my dashing brother. It seemed to work and he was certainly the alpha male in there. I did have one girl come up to me and ask me what I was. I said an astronaut and she looked at me blankly. I then pointed at the big NASA badge and said "Nasa". She responded "Who are they?"

It was good fun and I thin we both had a good time. The place was open until 2.00pm and although it did begin to thin out we still continued dancing and doing our bit to keep the party going. The outfits went down well and we are both keen to see how well they do in the Strawberry Moons of Maidstone and Ashford.

We walked home which is always good for the fitness levels and had some milk and toast which is always good for the hangover. Brother had to go to work the next day, which must have been tough, but I managed to put some zzz's in the bank. That evening we headed over to the Odeon at Greenwhich Penisula to meet with P and see Wall-E. 

I'd already had one great film but here came another. Completely different from the Dark Knight but no less entertaining or clever. It was a truly lovely, sweet film. Almost with a Forrest Gump quality about it. Forrest always treats people in the same innocent, friendly manner and Wall-E is the same. Granted people aren't trying to always fuck him over as they are in Forrest but there is a similar level of personality. The animation, story and characters are all top notch and I can't deny that I had a tear in my eye on at least one occasion.

There are so many wonderful scenes, so many heart soaring one minute, lump in the throat the next minute moments. For Disney it does have quite a strong message that although seems bleak is ultimately optimistic. A wonderfully warm and beautiful film and one that like The Dark Knight I am looking forward very much to owning on DVD.

Odeon however did their best to ruin my enjoyment of the film by having one of the worst film prints I have ever seen. Being an animated film you are inclined even more to study the screen so when they are so many lines and scratches across the screen you could be looking at a barcode, it does affect the viewing pleasure. I was a little pissed off so when I left the auditoria I collared an employee to let him know how shocking it was. Apparently they were aware of it and had put a sign on the door but of course the door is open when people are enterting so no one would have seen it.

I really must write a letter to them about their strapline 'Fanatical about Film'. Fanatical's quite a strong word. People commit suicide in fiery explosions for fanaticism. I'd say I bordered on an obsession of film but fanatical is a powerful statement. So how are they Fanatical?

A print of Wall-E that is so scratched the projectionist could be running it through his hair.

A screening of The Hulk where a baby was allowed in.

The screening of an entire film in standard format on a widescreen screen. When I asked an employee to look into this he attempted to fob me off with the line that some films were now made in 4:3 as opposed to the standard of 16:9

A sit wherever you want seating policy ensuring the least amount of effort or staffing is needed to look after your patrons.

A decision to show Mamma Mia in one of the few digital screens that you have in the country as opposed to say the biggest release of the year in The Dark Knight or better still the computer animated Wall-E that would obviously look best in digital screen

And finally in a time of competition against DVD's and people's hi-def home entertainment systems still being stuck in the past with the woeful projection based system and it's questionable picture quality.

Not really Fanatical is it?

On Monday after work I spent about four hours taking the hem up on the hooded cape of my fingerers outfit, which was a bit of a job. After successfully sewing a space shuttle badge onto my suit on Saturday, I had felt a little empowered and it was good to have it done. I then ordered the badges as another supplier let me down and need to do a simple drawstring bag for them so that I could maybe throw a few into the crowd!

And that is primarily it. Hardly any sleep during the evenings and a little doziness during the day. A building up to the Air Guitar and a welcome increase in the number of hits to the site. Hi to everyone that might be new and is checking in. I've even had some nice emails and favourable comments on the site which I can't deny brings a smile to my face.

Thanks for stopping by.

 

21st July 2008

So a couple of weeks down and not a great deal to report really. I've still managed to have an increased hit count to the site, which is always encouraging, though as I said last time this ccould well be made up of those wanting to flame me for my clearly controversial views on IMDB. Few, if any, have the courage to drop me a line but I guess that is understandable.

Things have been a little quiet at work and it's given us the chance to work a little more on the act for the forthcoming UK Air Guitar Championships. The 'hooded' element of the act has been upgraded and the 1 minute track 'cut' to CD for me to start getting down the moves. With three weeks to go it does give me more time to practice but almost adds more pressure. I thought I might get some small badges done as well. They are only £30 for a 100 so it's only to add to the show a little bit. Go the Islington Academy website if you want further info and to see my alter-ego in person.

I caught over the weekend an episode of that US programme, Extreme House Makeover. This is the one where they send a deserving family on holiday while they remove their house and build them a brand new one. It might be contrived but this family had two able bodied children plus a severely disabled son. As well as caring for the son 24/7 (meaning she hadn't been able to sleep with her husband for over 14 years) the mother had also set up a baseball field and team for similarly disabled children, which was called 'dreamcatchers'.

Man, this programme destroyed me. By the end there were hot tears on my face. Almost as if I'd used up the 'chilled' ones in my tear ducts and had to pull some up from my arse or somewhere! It's strange how at the moment I seem to be on one hand colder, more cynical and dismissive yet on the other hand a lot more emotional when it comes to stuff like this. Like I'm harder and softer at the same time.

Experienced the dreaded 'Red lights of death' on the 360 a few weekends back. I popped in Call Of Duty 4 into the slot, hit play and it froze up and started giving me the three red lights. I let it cool down and then tried it again with something else. It got a little further but then 'lunched' itself again. I'd gotten some good wear out of it and plenty hours of entertainment so I wasn't as frustrated as a I would normally be. Thankfully the hard drive pops right off rather than being integral to the machine and so I only needed to buy the very basic model.

To further remind me of the use that I get out of the 360, last week was the Electronic Entertainment Expo or E3 as its better known. This is where all the game developers reveal details, trailers, demo's etc of all their forthcoming new games. Some monsters were revealed or showcased such as Gears of War 2, Fallout 3, Fable 2, Resident Evil 5 and Halo Wars to name a few.

I know you are all desperately into games so here is the trailer for Gears of War 2

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/36219.html

And here is an FMV trailer (so no gameplay) of Halo Wars

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/36235.html

Managed to get two more Saturday gym sessions in which although good for the tummy (not that I do it regularly enough to make an impact) does not work out good for the wallet on the money involved. The last Saturdays one was hard as I took a bag and everything else and then forget my iPod. It was tough. I could have driven back home but I knew if I did that I wouldn't return and hence I went out and did just over half of my normal routine. It was all I could manage without the input of some banging trance.

Went out that Saturday night with my brother and got a little wrecked but our normal haunt seemed to have a larger than average proportion of blokes so we made a judgement call at 11.00 and blew it out. It was good to have a few beers though and chat with my brother about his previous night out. Poor sod had gone out in Maidstone wearing a black Sean John t-shirt and got shat on by a pigeon!

Lewis Hamilton is continuing to do well in the F1 but his dominance is becoming boring. I'm not warming to him anymore. I'm sure many will say this is down to the English way of not wanting our heroes to succeed but he pissed me off with the handling of his announcement to move to Switzerland to escape from the press coverage, but just happened to coincide with the release of his autobiography.

Anyway only a short-ish entry this time but as a parting gift here's a link to a trailer for the fourth Terminator film called Terminator Salvation. I don't think it looks bad myself. 

http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/07/16/must-watch-first-terminator-salvation-teaser-trailer/

Take care.

 

9th July 2008

Well I've certainly been a little remiss in my updating haven't I? But I am still here and I am still alive, much to the disappointment of those coming over to check out my site after my comments on the film, Waitress.

It's been a busy few weeks (well six or seven I guess) what with the weather when it lasted and the Euro 2008 football but I'll try to summarise most of it and cut out the needless waffle.

The weekend following the last entry, we went to pick up my brothers new car. The used car salesman lived up to their reputation by being a complete prick and I was tempted to walk away but my brother has a cooler head than me so we went ahead. I drove him to work in his car and then raced over to Halfords to get him a new car stereo as the promised CD changer in the back of the car that the salesman mentioned wasn't there.

I'm not that technically gifted but still I wanted the first evening with his new car to be a special one so I attempted and succeeded in removing the existing stereo and fitting the new one. I also got him some floor mats and other bits and then picked him up after work. He drove around for a good couple of hours and we grabbed some scram in Blackheath. He did well and despite the niggling problems it's a good car.

After seeing a programme during the week which had a Christopher Walken impersonator on it I just had to fine a really good one. He's such a unique actor that a good impression of him is great fun. Here's Kevin Pollack doing an awesome one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcKQGiih8_A

Went to check out this Body Pump class at the gym on the Saturday but it was the same old waffle. People who've been doing it for sometime being contemptuous of the newbies yet nobody seemed to be working up a real sweat. If I go to the gym I need to feel I'm knackering myself and with this I didn't. To give you an example of how 'intense' it was, the instructor said that they use a step for you to do the ground work on in case you hurt yourself getting up directly off the floor! I walked out of the class the moment it finished to go and burn some major calories in the gym.

Watched Charlie Wilson's War on the Sunday which was entertaining. A fine performance from Tom Hanks as usual but Philip Seymour Hoffman was out of this world. The same could not be said for Seraphim Falls with Neeson and Brosnan. It was slow, tedious and featured an awful lot of walking.

The Canadian grand prix was similarly boring until Hamilton stacked it into the back of Kimi in the pit lane and Robert Kubica went on to win the race. He thoroughly deserved it and as he doesn't have the arrogant cockiness and swagger that many of the others have I hope he does well.

Watched another dreadful western on the following Wednesday called The Assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford. Self indulgent nonsense. More narration than a wildlife documentary, tedious repetitive music to mask the 'oh so serious' and long, long, long lingering looks and wistful stares of each main character. It's like when they looked at the script they realised they had an hours worth of material but thought if we just shoot everything at half speed no one will notice.

Besides which all those that consider themselves serious about film will pretentiously rub their chin and say 'yes, it displayed the inner torment of each character and you needed that extra time to really understand it'. Dare to criticise it as being long, slow and boring and you'll be easily dismissed as a shallow blockbuster junkie that just isn't clever enough to read all the subtlety and hidden depth.

Modern westerns like this film, The three deaths of Mesquile Estrada (ridiculous) and Seraphim Falls are just killing the genre with their tedium and banality masquerading as intelligence and maturity.

Went to see The Incredible Hulk at the pictures on the Thursday and I thought it was great, better than Iron Man in my opinion. I thought the way he controlled his anger was good, I liked the relationship with Betty, Blomsky was given credibility for wanting to become more powerful and ultimately the abomination, the musical score was considerably better, the action scenes had a satisfying crunch to them and I thought Norton's performance was top notch. Bravo to all involved I say.

During the performance I experienced the very worst example of inconsiderate bastards in the audience. Somebody had bought a baby/small child into the screening. It was down near the front but you could occasionally hear it cry out. As if it's not bad enough to be selfishly disturbing everyone else it can't have been good for the child being in a darkened room with flashing lights and sudden 'spikes' in volume.

We saw The Happening the following evening and I've gotta say that it was poor. It was maybe an interesting premise but poorly executed with very weak acting from Mark Wahlberg (though this could have been at the directors request).

I'd ordered the Rambo box set which came through during the week. I couldn't be arsed to go to the gym on Saturday and felt particularly unsociable. Hence I put on the First Blood commentary as did some housework. It's a great listen with some fascinating anecdotes and as ever Sly continues to disprove the ridiculous notion that he's some kind of lug nut. Watched Rambo on the Sunday which was great to see again. What a jolt of adrenaline it is and the special features were fantastic.

Got my car serviced the following week which due to delays etc had to be in for two days. I had it done a little early but the thinking was that if anything major was discovered it would still be under the warranty. It still cost me over £400 mind you. I had meant to come into the office on the Friday morning after picking it back up but there was another delay and I was told to take the day off. I got back in around 1-ish and should have done something constructive with my day but ended up crashing and sleeping through the afternoon.

We managed to catch all of the Euro 2008 quarter finals which were excellent, particularly the sensational Turkish game where they equalised in the last minute of stoppage time of extra time. It was literally the last kick of the game, bar the penalties which Turkey went on to win. Russia were also great in their demolition of the much fancied Dutch side.

Watched the film Into the Wild which caught me in the right frame of mind. I imagine that on certain occasions I would find it had little or no merit but on this day I found it quite inspirational. Two quotes from it lingered with me.

"It's more important to feel strong than be strong" and "The only real happiness is shared happiness".

And that's about it really. I've been playing a little more GTA IV which continues to get better and deeper every time I play it. In the latest developments, I got a lovely new apartment with a car showroom just round the corner for me to steal from, I've done some night helicoptering over the city and I discovered that you can get three lap dances in a row. Quality!

I heard from an old work colleague through Facebook which was a nice surprise. I've really enjoyed going through the old times with her and finding out how she's been getting on. What was nice is that sometimes it's easy to dismiss yourself in previous years as being a bit of a fool. You didn't then know what you do now and for me it's natural to think I was an arse then. To hear of someone who knew you in that timeframe and their fond memories, does give a nice feeling of "well maybe I wasn't an arsehole then".

I went and saw The Mist on the Sunday just gone. I thought it was a great film. It was originally a novella by Stephen King that I remember reading and loving when younger. Frank Darabont has done a great treatment of it and I felt it was one of the freshest horror films that I've seen in a long time.

I've also been appearing in the odd E4.com TV advert for an Air Guitar competition that they are running prior to the next Air Guitar Championships. There's been some head scratching on my part as to whether I should enter. Last year was pretty special and done quickly on the fly. There wasn't any pressure and was entered in a fun spirit. If I enter again, am I trying too hard? Alternatively I had fun last year, lots of people enjoyed it and would I be passing up the chance of people remembering me this year as I did of the Hoxton Creeper and Count Rockula last year?

It takes place on the 8th August and I've decided I'm going to go for it. I've decided what I'm going to 'play' and the rough basis of the act so I just need to practise to sharpen up my tight strums.

Finally this week has been a Journey week. Probably the best way to example what I'm talking about is to show you the posting I made on the newly joined Journey forum 

A new fan's heartfelt thanks and appreciation for 'After all these years'.

Hi guys

Just wanted to say how blown away I am by the song, After all these years. I have been aware of Journey for some time yet it always kind of existed on the periphery of my rock appreciation. It had a very distinctive American feel and when my brother and I were over in Florida in Sept 07 and 'Don't stop believin' would be played by a DJ in a club, a huge roar would always go up.

As an Englishman there is something about the Journey sound that conjures images of college proms, cheerleaders, drive-ins and other heart-warming iconic parts of American culture.

I first heard After all these years played on the internet radio (thanks Eye 97) in the office and it was hard not to be hooked on that distinctive opening. It sounded very familiar, as if I'd always known about it but never really took the time to listen. Even one of my work colleagues who is a far bigger rock fan of that 80's era loved it and simply thought it came from that time. This confusion was further compounded when I couldn't find it listed on any of the greatest hits collections. I couldn't understand why such an obvious early classic wasn't listed.

What I'm trying to say (rather badly I think) is how amazing it is that you've managed to write a song in 2007/08 that sounds like it has been transported from the 80's. Not only write it but also have it sung and performed by your awesome new singer so that is sounds just like it stepped out of that successful early 80's period and could 'fool' (in the nicest way) a genuine rock fan of that era.

I was almost disappointed when I heard it for the first few times. Here was a belter of a song that had been undiscovered to me for so many years and I couldn't be there to help promote and sing it's praises without everyone else going 'yeah we know about it, it's been around for years'. How wrong could I be and how incredible that it could be so new? I didn't think songs like this got made anymore. I downloaded the track off iTunes, where it has been enjoyed in the office by everyone, and a day later bought the Revelation album.

As for the actual song, as opposed to the story of me discovering it, it really is rather special. I'm a pretty cynical guy due to some life disappointments but the lyrics of the song spoke to me about the kind of loving relationship I've always wanted and had thought one day I would be able to have. In that initial 'honeymoon' phase of repeatedly listening to a new song, I can't deny that it's power genuinely moved me to tears. Whether this is down to the lyrics or it's ability to connect with something deep inside me I don't know, but it brought some warmth to me and gave me a glimpse, or at least a reminder, of the wonder that genuine love and companionship can bring.

Anyway, I've rambled on enough. Suffice to say that I love the song and am delighted that I've been given the chance to hear more from the band. Thanks once again and I wish you all continued success.

Man, they have really blown me away this week and I can't stop listening to the track. It won't be to everyone's tastes (Kim!) but as a parting gift until the next time, here it is. Excuse the lame video but they haven't released an official one so I think a fan must have knocked this up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SswnbpA2qZ0

Until we talk again.